Forgive me for I have sinned, here is my confession:

“Take the stairs next time”

So the Rehab party is coming to an end and my friends and I all end up scattering and doing our own thing. It’s around 7 pm, we are all there except for one, lets call him “The Situation”. We all thought he is probably getting laid since the last time we saw him he was talking to some girl and whipping his dick out at the pool. We headed to our room to take a nap before getting ready to go out at night. My phone started ringing at around 10pm and it was the hotel management saying “This is the front desk, and we have a situation with your friend as he is in the hospital with a concussion”. I asked if she was joking and she replied “No sir, he also tried fighting the Las Vegas police department”.  The great friends we are we still went out and partied till 5 am. When we got back to the room we found our friend lying in the bed and his face looked like there was a performance of Riverdance on it. We asked him what happened and the story goes: He was walking into the elevator and so were 5 other 350 lb gorillas. Out of nowhere the one scrawny guy punched him in the face and two seconds later five black massive fist pounded on his face. He dropped to the floor in the fetal position and ate a Timberland boot. When the doors opened security was already there and quickly grabbed everyone. He was taken to the hospital because his face looked like mashed potatoes. Apparently when the cops were trying to ask him what happened he was still drunk and furious form the vicious attack that just happened and he swung at the cop. He was stuck at the hospital for 8 hours! The guys who jumped him claimed that he bumped into them and spilled his drink however the security cameras do not show any of that took place. They simply wanted to kick a white boy’s ass. We had to cut our trip short and leave a day early because he refused to go out looking like the final scene from Rocky. Now whenever we walk near an elevator we always bust his chops that he should have taken the stairs! Did I mention that this was also his 1st time in Vegas? Vegas Baby, Vegas!